I didn’t know I had one, but Clarice told Sharon that I would always be accompanied by a chaperone, but that the chaperone did not need to be positioned where she could see my client if there were modesty issues. She said that the sitting would include reference photographs. We would work for a period of approximately two hours to do sketches. If Sharon did not see a pose that she liked, a second sitting of two hours would be scheduled. If we couldn’t agree on a pose, she would pay a cancellation fee that would cover my time and labor. If we agreed on a pose, I would take additional reference photos and then I would do the painting in my studio. The finished work would be delivered when completed and installed if desired, but the contract would specifically indicate that the painting would be used but not sold in the artist’s premier exhibition. Framing was at the client’s expense.Sharon had become so attentive to what Clarice was explaining that she completely forgot I was drawing.. The morning routine now was the feed, the rush of clothes, the quick unlock then slow and small creek open of the door and then the quick bolt to the front door before Tut could be stirred from his luxury matted dog bed in the corner. Like a king, or emperor ruling the kitchen and living space. I was leaving half an hour early now, because I knew he woke with the sun through the big glass wall-windows, and I had to sit in a quiet spot on my phone or trying anxiously to read at a bench outside the subway whilst the time went past, and then go to work. I really hated myself, deep down. I felt lonely; I felt like talking to people always went badly. I’d been trying to work on it, but being so scared meant it took me lifetimes to make the smallest steps – and that meant, most times, it really felt like little had changed at all. Tut I had given a little thin blue collar, that hung gently in and amongst his fur. He really was the sweetest thing. But, even as those beedy eyes looked at me.
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